Is being a “man” appreciated?

I’d say it’s clearly expected. But unfortunately, I don’t necessarily think it’s truly appreciated. Ideally, it should be appreciated when men create value, show decisiveness, protect their families, earn money, and provide safety for their loved ones or partners. So let’s emphasize this: it’s really great, and they should be proud of themselves.

Suppressing emotions vs. emotional stability – what’s the difference?

Crying does not equal emotional instability. That’s very important.

Emotional stability means you’re able to manage your emotions. It doesn’t mean you suppress them. Let me give an example:
A lot of men probably love The Lord of the Rings. Let’s look at Aragorn or Sam’s character. Do they cry? Of course they do. Many times. But they still carry the ring to Mordor and support society along the way. Yes.

So the point isn’t that we shouldn’t cry or shouldn’t feel our emotions, but that we should be able to manage them.

Why do we need negative emotions?

Emotions are meant to be experienced.

From an evolutionary perspective, they exist to signal something to us. If I’m sad, it tells me something—like that what I had was valuable, so I’ll seek something like it again, say after a breakup. If I feel shame, it signals that maybe next time I shouldn’t act the same way—perhaps I need to better prepare for an exam or think before speaking.

They also protect us! For example, if you’re standing on a tram track and a tram is coming toward you at 30 km/h and is only 5 meters away, I want you to feel fear—because that’s how you’ll save yourself.

What happens if we ignore negative emotions for too long? Isn’t it worth just not dealing with them?

Emotions—especially negative ones—unfortunately work like the common cold.

What does that mean? If I say “I’m not sick” and still go to the gym or work, that five-day cold stretches into two weeks. And if I deny it so much that I say “I’m definitely not sick” and run a marathon to prove it, I might end up with a nice case of pneumonia. That’s how negative emotions work too.

If I feel sadness and suppress it, I’ll experience more negative emotions in the long term. This has been scientifically proven—though I won’t go into the details now—research confirms that if you suppress negative emotions and go, “nope, I don’t feel negative emotions, just happy thoughts, happy thoughts,” you might feel better in the short term, but definitely not in the long run.

In the short term, sure, you might feel better. But in the long run, no—because you never processed that thing.

If we don’t allow ourselves to feel them, they take over—even if we don’t realize it. So, let’s feel our emotions.

How do I know if I’m suppressing my emotions?

Every human suppresses emotions.

Period. There’s no one who doesn’t. The question is: how often, how intensely, and in what quality?

But to give a concrete example—if someone knows they’re very emotional but hasn’t felt anything in the past month, even though painful things happened (like being fired), then something might be off.

Another sign of repression can be becoming addicted to things, even if those things don’t actually bring happiness.

Why is it worth experiencing and processing our emotions?

Because it works similarly to the way treasures work in fairy tales.

If you decide to pick up the sword and fight the dragon—to willingly face pain, sadness, and loss—there’s always a treasure waiting: peace, calm, a sense of resolution that it was truly worth it.

It’s always important to process our emotions. To work through the stories that have happened to us. That’s why sadness matters: it hurts in the short term, but not in the long run. And that’s great—because when we allow ourselves to feel sadness, we become braver, little by little.

We know a lot about the links between mental health, depression, and suicide—but how is this all connected to emotional suppression?

In many cases, people don’t want to end their lives—they just don’t want to feel the way they’re feeling. Many people say, “I don’t want to live.”

As a psychologist, it’s crucial to unpack what that really means. And very often, it turns out they do want to live—they just don’t want to feel this.

The more we express our emotions, the less likely we are to suppress things. The less we suppress, the more likely our mental health improves.

The better our mental health, the less likely we are to be depressed or suicidal.

What about those who don’t want to accept that men can be “weak”?

If someone can’t accept that their husband, the man they love, or their friend can also be emotional, that’s their difficulty—because anyone can go through hard times.

And if we’re already talking about historical or mythological examples: in the Old Testament, there’s the story of Noah. I love stories like this, that’s why I’m bringing it up. Noah gathered his family, put them on the ark, acted like a man, even warned society, saying, “Repent, come with us.” They didn’t. Fine—he saved his family, did his duty, and humanity survived. Amazing. Then there’s a scene few talk about: the Bible says Noah was later found drunk and naked in his tent.

Even a real man can make mistakes—and that’s okay. That’s completely okay. If someone can’t accept this—whether they’re a man, woman, friend, or spouse—it says more about them than the other person.

Who’s responsible for change? Is it on men to open up more, or is it almost impossible to open up in an environment that punishes any sign of weakness?

Studies show that in a relationship—even when only two people are involved—if just one person creates emotional safety, if just one is empathetic, accepting, and honest, it can be enough for the other person to engage as well. So practically, whether men or society take the first steps, the other side will respond.

What can we do as individuals to change this mindset—how can we raise awareness?

We just have to start—wherever there’s an opportunity.

If you tell a friend about this project or just say to someone, “Hey, a psychologist said this in an interview—try it,” that can make a huge difference.

Let’s create safe, accepting spaces where this can be experienced. Tell them:

“Hey, I’m here. If you want, I’ll listen. I’m happy to be here for you—talk about your emotions freely.”

“I know this is hard for you. And if you don’t want to, that’s okay too. Just know I’m here, and you can call me anytime.”